Episode Twenty: What is Peer Parent Support
Podcast Recap:
In this conversation, Madeleine explores what peer parent support is, why it makes such a difference for parents and carers, and why it matters so much in youth mental health. Drawing on years of walking alongside EPIC families, she shares how connecting with parents who truly understand can bring relief, practical wisdom, real hope and renewed confidence, and how the first step can be as simple as listening.
Host: Madeleine Steel - EPIC CEO
Podcast Transcript:
-
Today we’re talking about something that sits right at the heart of EPIC. Peer support. What it is, why it matters, and why it can make such a difference for parents and carers supporting a young person’s mental health.
Before we begin, I want you to imagine something.
It’s a fairly ordinary Tuesday. You’ve already checked your phone six times this morning. You’ve followed up an appointment. You’ve responded to an email from school. You’ve searched for information online. You’ve reminded your young person about something important, probably more than once. Probably more than twice, if we’re being honest.
You’ve worried. You’ve planned. You’ve adjusted. And somehow you’re also expected to keep the rest of life moving along as though everything is perfectly normal.
Can we just acknowledge something? Parents supporting a young person’s mental health become experts in things they never planned to learn. We become researchers. Advocates. Detectives. Case managers. Coordinators. Crisis negotiators. Professional worriers. Sometimes all before breakfast.
And despite all of that effort, many parents tell us the same thing. “I feel completely alone.”
If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.
-
Every parent and carer I have met wants the same basic things. We want the young people in our lives to be safe. We want them to be well. We want them to know they are loved.
And if I’m honest, most of us would also like occasional reassurance that we’re doing okay ourselves. Because many parents I know are carrying around a running commentary that sounds something like this.
“Did I handle that well?”
“Should I have said something different?”
“Am I helping?”
“Am I making things worse?”That’s a heavy thing to carry on your own.
When a young person is struggling, parents and carers naturally step up. We become the people making the calls. Attending appointments. Learning new terminology. Navigating services. Supporting siblings. Managing work. Holding hope. Sometimes all at the same time.
At EPIC, we often talk about parents and carers as first responders. Because that’s exactly what many of you are. You are there first. You are there longest. And you’re usually there long after everyone else has gone home.
Yet here’s something important. First responders need support. Nobody expects firefighters to work alone. Nobody expects paramedics to manage without a team. And parents shouldn’t have to carry everything alone either.
That’s where peer support comes in. Not as another thing to do. Not as another appointment to attend. But as an opportunity to sit alongside people who understand this journey in a way that only lived experience can.
-
So what do we mean when we say peer support?
At its simplest, peer support is support from someone who has lived through something similar. Someone who has walked a similar path. Someone who understands. Not because they’ve studied it. Because they’ve lived it.
For parents and carers, that might mean connecting with another parent who has supported a young person through anxiety, depression, school challenges, self harm, suicidal distress, neurodivergence, substance use, family conflict, hospital admissions, or any number of experiences that can leave families feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to turn.
Peer support isn’t a replacement for professional support. Psychologists, counsellors, support workers, psychiatrists and GPs all play incredibly important roles.
Peer support brings something different. It brings lived experience. And lived experience is powerful.
It’s the difference between reading about a storm and standing beside someone who has already weathered one. It’s knowing what it feels like to receive a difficult phone call from school. It’s understanding what it’s like to sit awake at midnight wondering if your young person is okay. It’s recognising the exhaustion that can come from loving someone deeply while feeling completely uncertain about what to do next.
That kind of knowledge matters. Because it cannot be learned from a textbook. It can only be lived. And when people share that knowledge, something remarkable happens. It grows.
One parent once described peer support as borrowing hope from someone who has already walked the path. I think that’s a beautiful description.
One of my favourite things about parents and carers is how resourceful they are. Honestly, give a parent a challenge and they will begin research that would impress a private investigator.
Need information about school supports? Someone has a spreadsheet. Need help understanding a service system? Someone has a folder. Need practical ideas that actually worked in real life? Someone has probably tried seventeen different approaches, fourteen of which didn’t work, and is happy to save everyone else the trouble.
Parents and carers are extraordinary. When their collective knowledge comes together, it becomes a well of wisdom that benefits everyone.
-
Let’s talk about why peer support can make such a difference.
The first reason is simple. Being understood.
There is something incredibly powerful about talking to someone who just gets it. No lengthy explanations. No feeling like you need to justify your concerns. No need to convince someone that what you’re experiencing is hard. You simply share your experience and see a knowing nod.
I’ve heard countless parents say some version of this. “I honestly thought we were the only family going through this.” Then they connect with other parents and realise they’re far from alone. That moment can be incredibly relieving.
The first gift peer support offers isn’t advice. It’s the feeling of finally being able to breathe.
The second reason is practical wisdom.
Parents learn things. Lots of things. Sometimes through training. More often through trial and error. Peer support creates opportunities for those learnings to be shared.
What helped in a school meeting? What questions should you ask? How do you support siblings? How do you work collaboratively with professionals? How do you look after your own wellbeing in the middle of everything else?
These are the kinds of conversations that happen naturally between parents. Not because anyone is claiming to have all the answers. Because everyone is willing to share what they’ve learned.
The third reason is hope. Real hope. The kind you can actually see.
Imagine meeting a parent whose young person struggled to leave the house. Whose family felt stuck. Whose future felt uncertain. Then hearing that same parent talk about how things gradually improved. Maybe their young person returned to education. Maybe they’re working. Maybe they’re simply enjoying life again.
Nothing about that story guarantees the same outcome for everyone. What it does offer is possibility. And possibility matters. Because when you’re in the middle of a hard season, it can be difficult to imagine anything different. Sometimes another parent’s story helps you see a horizon again.
The fourth reason is that peer support has a lovely way of reminding parents that they matter too.
When you’re focused on caring for a young person, your own needs often slip quietly to the bottom of the list. Many parents become experts at supporting everyone except themselves.
Peer support gently nudges self care back into the picture. Not in a lofty, unrealistic way. Nobody is suggesting a week at a wellness retreat. We’re talking about the basics. Rest. Connection. A walk. A cup of coffee. A laugh. A moment to breathe. Sometimes permission to remember that you’re a person as well as a parent.
Speaking of laughter, one thing that surprises people about peer support is how often laughter shows up. Even in difficult conversations. Especially in difficult conversations. Because parents are funny. Resourceful. Creative. And sometimes the most healing thing in the world is sitting with people who understand the challenge and can still find something to smile about.
The fifth reason is confidence.
Over time, parents begin to trust themselves again. They realise how much they’ve learned. How observant they’ve become. How well they know their young person.
Peer support doesn’t tell parents what to think. It helps them recognise strengths they already have. And that confidence can make a tremendous difference. Because nobody knows your young person better than you.
-
So why does peer support matter in youth mental health?
Youth mental health can be a complicated space for families to navigate. Young people are growing. Developing independence. Exploring who they are. At the same time, they may need significant support.
Parents often find themselves balancing two important responsibilities. Respecting a young person’s autonomy while continuing to provide care and guidance. That’s not always easy.
Many parents describe feeling like they’re standing in a grey area. Close enough to care deeply. Yet sometimes without access to all the information they’d like to have.
Peer support helps because other parents understand those grey areas. They understand the uncertainty. The setbacks. The small victories. The waiting. The worrying. And the enormous love that sits underneath it all.
Peer support also creates space for conversations that parents sometimes struggle to have elsewhere. Conversations about guilt. Fear. Frustration. Hope. Grief. Resilience. Relief. Conversations where people can be honest without feeling judged.
And here’s one observation I’ve come to believe very strongly. Parents often arrive looking for information. Information is important. Absolutely. Yet often what they’re really searching for is reassurance.
Reassurance that they’re not failing. Reassurance that they are doing better than they think. Reassurance that tomorrow does not have to look exactly like today.
Sometimes another parent can offer that reassurance in a way nobody else can. Because they’ve stood in a similar place. And they’ve found their way through.
-
I remember speaking with a parent who joined one of our groups convinced they were the only family dealing with school refusal. Within minutes they discovered several other parents who had walked a similar path.
Nothing about their situation changed that day. The challenges were still there. The questions were still there. Yet something important shifted. They weren’t carrying it alone anymore.
One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that people often come looking for answers. What they discover is something even more valuable. People. People who understand. People who listen. People who share. People who care.
I often think of the EPIC community as a well of wisdom. Every parent arrives carrying something valuable. Experience. Knowledge. Lessons learned. Perspective. Hope.
One parent understands schools. Another understands services. Another has discovered strategies that helped at home. Another simply knows exactly what to say on a difficult day.
Together, those experiences create something much bigger than any one individual could provide. And that’s the beauty of peer support. Nobody needs to have all the answers. Everyone contributes a piece of the puzzle.
-
If you’re listening and thinking, “This sounds like something I might need,” I want to reassure you that the first step can be very small.
You don’t need a perfect introduction. You don’t need your story neatly organised. You don’t need to know exactly what to say.
Many people join a peer support space and simply listen. That counts. Listening is participation. Listening is connection. Listening is often where confidence begins.
In fact, some people spend their first online meeting wondering if they should unmute. That’s completely okay too.
As you explore peer support, look for spaces that feel welcoming, respectful and safe. Look for spaces where people listen as much as they speak. Look for spaces grounded in lived experience. Most importantly, look for spaces that leave you feeling just a little lighter than when you arrived.
-
Before we finish, I’d love you to picture something.
Imagine a community where no parent is sitting alone at the kitchen table wondering what to do next. Imagine a community where parents and carers know exactly where to turn when life feels overwhelming. Imagine a community where experience is shared generously. Where support flows both ways. Where hope is passed from one family to another.
That’s the power of peer support. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about making sure nobody has to search for them alone.
Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If this conversation resonated with you, I invite you to share it with another parent or carer who might benefit from hearing it. Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer is a simple reminder. You are not alone.
If you’d like to learn more about EPIC or join the EPIC community, visit us at www.empoweringparentsincrisis.com.
You’ll find resources, events, this podcast transcript, and ways to connect with other parents just like you.Wherever you are on your parenting journey right now, I hope this conversation has reminded you of something important. You don’t have to do this alone. I hope to connect with you in the EPIC community one day soon.
Do you have suggestions, comments, questions relating to today’s conversation or have ideas for future episodes? We would love to hear from you. Send EPIC an email here.
ABOUT EPIC
PEER PARENT SUPPORT
EPIC
ESOURCES
EPIC NEWSLETTERS
ONLINE
MEET UPS
EPIC WALKS
If this conversation has raised concerns for you or your young person, support is available any time.
Lifeline 13 11 14. Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800. In an emergency, call 000.
This podcast was made possible by the support of Lane Cove Council.
